Journal writeringeringerings 15
Nov. 18th, 2010 01:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Things lately have been hard... to be truthful, I don't know how much more I can take before I snap. Iruka says the paperwork is in motion.... I still can't see this being a good thing. I'm the student of a traitor, even if I am one of them on paper I doubt I'll ever be accepted. Not that I've ever been accepted, pf, maybe I should've stayed toeing the line.
No changing it now though... I guess I can always become a renegade if it comes down to the end of it. I don't even know anymore.
I guess I'm just left standing in the wake yet again with that horrible sinking feeling like you're drowning but you're not. Sometimes I feel lonelier when I'm with people now than when it was just Steve and I. Maybe its a side effect with everything that's happening, I think after I get the hell interrogated out of me I'll leave for a bit. Get out of the city, maybe go up to Canada for a bit. Just... get away from all of this.
I doubt if push ever came to shove I'd have the trads back me up... dear gods I hope I'm doing the right thing.
No changing it now though... I guess I can always become a renegade if it comes down to the end of it. I don't even know anymore.
I guess I'm just left standing in the wake yet again with that horrible sinking feeling like you're drowning but you're not. Sometimes I feel lonelier when I'm with people now than when it was just Steve and I. Maybe its a side effect with everything that's happening, I think after I get the hell interrogated out of me I'll leave for a bit. Get out of the city, maybe go up to Canada for a bit. Just... get away from all of this.
I doubt if push ever came to shove I'd have the trads back me up... dear gods I hope I'm doing the right thing.